pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out: Scatter crows and feel the gold light

30 August 2016

Scatter crows and feel the gold light

Orange County, California
30 August 2016
Back in June, I decided that I was tired of the genteel (and useless and boring) doctor-and-p.t. approved exercise regimen (that I didn't do half the time). I was tired of being mostly out of shape, frequently ill and always in pain. So, I went back to my own patented guerrilla methods of exercise. I am up to an hour (okay a gentle hour, not like my previous near spinning class) on the recumbent bike and many days I can walk between 2.5 and 5 miles (and I managed a 15-minute mile today--not my previous 11-minute mile but better than I've managed in 5 years). And then weight stuff (hahaha, given the clavicle dislocation or whatever but I'm doing it anyway). So I'm more in shape, sometimes ill and always in pain. But I feel better overall.
IRL darlings: I have two choices. Piddle around like the doctors want and eventually end up in surgery. Or be me and eventually end up in surgery. I'll take the latter. Because it's that or take the long walk into the deep ocean and I'm not kidding.
I've traveled this road--this actual road--so many times in all the years that I've had to learn to walk again. And again. And again. Fifteen years later, I still stagger sometimes (perfect balance is gone for good now), and this morning, my damned right leg DID.NOT.WANT. But I pushed forward and finally at the end of 2 miles, I could feel enough of it not to be terrified of falling over.
Not dead yet.
Go listen to some good music:"Come My Sunshine" from the album Spells by The Comas. Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6.
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