pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out: An end has a start - 2015 : New Year's Beach

31 December 2015

An end has a start - 2015 : New Year's Beach

Newport Beach, California
31 December 2015

It's been our tradition for a few years now to go to Newport late afternoon on New Year's Eve, walk around and see what is what, and then have an early dinner, getting home before the real crazy starts. It's nice and we've taken friends with us (they got an orca show last year), something festive without too much stress.

This year was better than last year, qualitatively and quantitatively, though it was still terrible in many, many ways. On the good side, the movie that was filming this time last year has found audiences at festivals, so that was good beyond my wildest dreams, certainly, and the daughter's too.

(It'll be showing at the Irvine International Film Festival in a couple of weeks....)

The daughter finished high school and started college which meant I was officially done FOR ALL TIME with the business of volunteering at schools. I get little come-ons from both universities, and I politely tell them to go away. I've hung up my cupcake pans.

But, of course, no sooner did I prepare to savor the novelty of not having to drive anyone anywhere, than the daughter dislocated her right knee (again), and I was back to driving her to school. Because that's the way we roll. Literally.

I read books, saw movies, and went to concerts (an entire week in Texas with D., New Orleans for my birthday, Salt Lake City with the daughter, a total of seven, count them, SEVEN shows).

And I felt my heart implode (ah-huuuuh, ah-huuuuh...though easier to sing it than write it).

I find it important to reflect on endings. What went right. What went so very wrong. What I can improve (everything?). Somehow it makes the start so much sweeter, so much more exciting, so filled with potential if I take the time to consider what I need to take forward while I clear the chaff.

So much I need to do. So much I want to do.

I've never been one for the biological clock. I never felt a sense of urgency to marry or have children. But in the last several years, I've started to feel the press of time. Not quite urgency, but a sense that there are things I need to complete, things I need to shed. What and who I love stays with me always, but there are things, real physical things, that take up too much space, need too much maintenance, need to go. I like the sense of lightness, the freedom of less. Keep what works; let go of what doesn't.

But you, you, were there at the start and you'll be there at the end, carried along in my heart, my head, my songs and my stories.

Because I am, at heart, an eternal optimist, here is to new adventures, new travels, new stuff to do and to love for us all. My wish for everyone continues to be that we come out shining on the other side. Thank you, as always, for spending time with me.

Be safe, be good, and remember to eat your black-eyed peas.

...with hope in your hands
and air to breathe

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6. Also, go listen to some good music: "An End Has a Start" from the album An End Has a Start by Editors.

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