pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out: Lucky heart

03 September 2014

Lucky heart

South Main
Memphis, Tennessee
30 June 2014

It is so easy to get lost in the toxic morass of bad. That's pretty much where I was all summer.

(I know. Technically, it's still summer, but Labor Day is over and finally, everyone is back in school. So really, Not Summer. And just as well.)

There was lots of bad. All kinds of bad. Bad in the world, bad in the state, bad here at home. Things sort of culminated with the death of a longtime friend and neighbor about 10 days ago. He'd been ill for years, but he had a knack for bouncing back every time. The hot firefighters would show up, cart him off and then he'd be home, more cheerful than ever. So when the hot firefighters showed up and carted him away, I didn't expect him to come home and die. But I should have seen the signs. And I feel incredibly awful that I didn't.

When their grandfather took ill, I told the kids: take this time. There is no going back and once he's gone, it's done.

Would that I'd taken my own advice, or at least been a bit more aware of what was going on.

When a student at the daughter's school died last week, she and I had a long talk about life, death, the universe and everything. And we cried. A lot.

There's more. Much more. But some of the stories aren't mine to tell, no matter that they add to the spiritual quicksand that tugs insistently at my ankles. I know that I am fortunate in that I have the resources, internal and external, to eventually pull myself free. Not everyone does.

And now this is where I pick up myself up, dust myself off and move forward.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. The worst part was that it didn't look like I could move on until I'd put all that down, little as I wanted to share.

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