pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out: Find me a way for making it stay

02 May 2013

Find me a way for making it stay

Orange County, California
8 September 2011

Poor Olivier has cancer and is going through chemo. I see him periodically when he escapes the clutches of his loving owners (and that's not sarcasm; they do love him, but he is a roamer). A week or so ago, he was out and about sniffing the bumper of a strange car, and when he saw me, he threw himself against my legs, wailing. I scratched his head and crooned to him, half expecting him to attack my arm as he is wont to do because he can be quite the stinker. But no. He wanted affection, wanted someone who wasn't going to fuss with him. So I scratched and he purred.

Breaks my heart, as much of a troublemaker as he is.


It is May.

I don't know how it got to be May. Yeah, yeah, day changed into night, night into day, and it was May. I know. But where did all those subsequent days go?

(See yesterday: FAFSA, CSS, IDOC. Also to be fair: Austin, Deb, concert. But those last three rocked whereas the first three did not. And I sat in a restaurant with D. last week trying to fathom how it was that I'd last seen her in December and here it was April, and now I won't see her again until August.

Hear that, D.? August. AUGUST. It is on my calendar.

Yes, I communicate with my friends via blog. Some of my friends believe it is the only way that they communicate with me, which is not true. Well, sometimes. Also, yes, I can write really long parentheticals. Because I want to.)


(I need the silly. It's been all Sturm und Drang, and rage and stuff. Done. Now, I'm just down with the dying of love. It's okay.)


Anyway, I probably have sunstroke. While all the sad little deer are up to their necks in snow in Colorado, it is 90F and hot, dry and windy here. Hot. Nasty. And I was out messing around in the garden. In the sun. Trying to fix the sprinkler system that the idiots construction crew destroyed last week.

Also, I can't see for beans because my new contacts make it difficult to see the computer screen.

"Most people get less nearsighted when they get older," my doctor said yesterday. "But you..."

Yes, me.

(Next: plane. And Baltimore. And, yeah, helping the son pack up his dorm room for the summer. But other things, too.)

I'm dying of love.

And it's okay.

Tech stuff: Taken with my Nikon D40. Look, there are at least four people who will know EXACTLY what I'm talking about here. And at least two who will ask. And I've already warned three that I am in A Mood, which doesn't always mean a bad mood. Also: go listen to some good music: "Trains" from the album In Absentia by Porcupine Tree. Because at the moment, I am very much present. Okay, enough liner notes. 

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