pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out

15 January 2017

12 January 2017

Always up to something


Milton
10 March 2007

I was the enfant terrible, always asking the questions I wasn't supposed to. And of course, one day when I was 7 or 8, I asked the question about my dog going to heaven. And was told that my dog didn't have a soul, so wouldn't be going to heaven.

"Then I won't go to heaven either, " I announced.

You can see how I ended up raised-as-a-Catholic but at the end of the day, not a Catholic.

So this is where we are.

The tumors have returned. Their growth seems to have accelerated. We are out of options. I would like weeks, but I suspect days.

And there it is.

I hope that if I gave him anything in all our years together, it was knowledge that love and security existed for him. That he and his perfect little cat soul have been so loved. That if there is an afterlife, I am content to spend it with the animals.

Tech stuff: Taken with a Canon PowerShot S110. It's true. I prefer animals to most people.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.

02 January 2017

Stormy skies


Newport Beach, California
31 December 2016

[Paragraphs raving about idiot climatologists who lack humility redacted]

It's been raining.

This is a good thing.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.

01 January 2017

The last one


Tree detail
1 January 2017

As a toddler, the son was particularly taken with trains. The December that he was nearly 2, I found a glass train garland at Macy's that I knew he'd like. I carefully unhooked it from the display tree as one was supposed to do, and I cradled it in my palms as I continued to peruse the trees for any other likely ornaments. While I looked, happily enjoying the festive display, another shopper, a somewhat older woman, approached me.

"That's the last one," she said to me. I looked at her, perplexed. She pointed to the garland in my hands.

"Oh," I said, not sure why she was telling me this.

More forcefully, she repeated, "It's the last one."

"I see," I answered, and moved toward the register to make my purchase.

Decades later, I'm still bemused by that conversation. I can only guess that she expected me to hand the garland over. Or something. Whatever the case, when the kids unpack the ornaments every year, they dangle the trains in front of me and announce, "It's the last one."

Which, I suppose, is how weird little stories pass into family lore.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.

31 December 2016

Long black road: An end that's an end in itself - 2016


Newport Beach, California (with bonus Catalina Island in the distance)
31 December 2016

You gotta get up in the morning
Take your heavy load
And you gotta keep going down that long black road.

I'm not sure that I've ever been happier for a year to end or more apprehensive about the one that is about to begin.

Perhaps it's just best to leave it at that.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6. We went to the beach despite the storm. Go listen to some good music: "Long Black Road" from the album Zoom by ELO.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.

27 December 2016

Get out of my house


Around the neighborhood
10 December 2016

Everyone was tweeting The Oatmeal yesterday, wherein 2016 was being told "Please get the fuck out of my house."

I couldn't agree more.

The year started with my kitchen sink backing up New Year's morning. It has never looked back, and boy, backed up plumbing. What a metaphor for the year.

***********

Sometimes, I hate being right. Honestly, it's not often that I like to be right and I tend not to be someone who uses "I told you so." But Milton's latest round of tumors are indeed a recurrence of the original cancer. When the vet called last night to check on him, he told me the pathology was back, faster than either of us expected. And I could tell by his tone the news was bad. We are both at a loss as to how to proceed. Milton recovered so well from the first surgery, but we can't allow him to be cut open every 2-1/2 months. Chemo isn't effective against this cancer and I wouldn't do that to a cat anyway. Radiation can be effective, but anesthetizing an old cat 4 times a week is just as likely to kill him. And I suspect that it would be cost prohibitive. So I'm leaning toward enjoying the time we have left.

The last two nights, Milton has crawled under the bedcovers to sleep with me, something Doodle always did, but Milton has never done. The first he snuggled into my chest, with his head under my chin, front paws on my upper arm, and he purred until we both fell asleep. It was almost the same position he took up when I first held him as a 5-month-old kitten and decided to take him home with me.

***********

I was a newly minted teenager when Star Wars (the actual, original film) came out. And of course, at 13, I thought Harrison Ford was about the most awesome thing on the silver screen, so forget what turned out to be the awkwardness of that whole Luke/Leia thing. I wanted to see Han and Leia end up together. Tonight, reading appreciations and obits for the late Carrie Fisher (gods, it kills me to write that), everyone is going on about how she was such a tough princess, and what a surprise that was, blah, blah, blah.

To whom was this a surprise? Not me.

At 13, I watched a tiny, beautiful woman with a crazy hairstyle and a seriously scary polyester dress lay waste to bad guys, spar with the good guys and generally take care of herself. I didn't look at her and see possibility; I looked at her and saw "of course."

So, thank you, Carrie Fisher, for being reinforcement of my own prevailing notion as a girl that women do what they need to do to get through the day, whether with a blaster or with a smack on the lips for luck. You were gorgeous, talented and thoroughly no nonsense.

Of course.

***********

And really, 2016 needs to go. Now.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.

25 December 2016

Another Christmas in the books

 
25 December 2016

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone6.
For the feed reader folk (because you don't see this on the blog sidebar): Talk to me: OutOfTh3Kitchen at gmail dot com. For additional information on this site's cookie usage, go here.