pWdumaNjA-6CEEBhRoD5euxNETs When All This Actual Life Played Out

20 September 2014

03 September 2014

Lucky heart


South Main
Memphis, Tennessee
30 June 2014

It is so easy to get lost in the toxic morass of bad. That's pretty much where I was all summer.

(I know. Technically, it's still summer, but Labor Day is over and finally, everyone is back in school. So really, Not Summer. And just as well.)

There was lots of bad. All kinds of bad. Bad in the world, bad in the state, bad here at home. Things sort of culminated with the death of a longtime friend and neighbor about 10 days ago. He'd been ill for years, but he had a knack for bouncing back every time. The hot firefighters would show up, cart him off and then he'd be home, more cheerful than ever. So when the hot firefighters showed up and carted him away, I didn't expect him to come home and die. But I should have seen the signs. And I feel incredibly awful that I didn't.

When their grandfather took ill, I told the kids: take this time. There is no going back and once he's gone, it's done.

Would that I'd taken my own advice, or at least been a bit more aware of what was going on.

When a student at the daughter's school died last week, she and I had a long talk about life, death, the universe and everything. And we cried. A lot.

There's more. Much more. But some of the stories aren't mine to tell, no matter that they add to the spiritual quicksand that tugs insistently at my ankles. I know that I am fortunate in that I have the resources, internal and external, to eventually pull myself free. Not everyone does.

And now this is where I pick up myself up, dust myself off and move forward.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. The worst part was that it didn't look like I could move on until I'd put all that down, little as I wanted to share.

20 August 2014

The view from Wednesday


A new view
Santa Ana, California
20 August 2014

Meet the new view. Very similar to the old view.

The daughter's school is in the midst of massive construction. So is everyone else in the area. Predictably, it's messed up everything. Probably, this will all shake itself out in a week or so, but for now, chaos.

And it's making me very grumpy.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. And people are making me grumpy, too.

19 August 2014

Beginning of the end


Squirrel!
Memphis, Tennessee
30 June 2014

The daughter started her senior year of high school today. On the one hand, my baby started her senior year of high school today. On the other hand, my baby started her senior year of high school today!

And of course, I looked at the school supplies in the stores with more than a little sadness.

They grow up so fast.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. Which I still haven't gotten rid of. Because who has the time?

24 July 2014

A world full of maybe

 
Angels v. Orioles
Anaheim, California
22 July 2014
 
The last time I saw the Angels play the Orioles, I was in Baltimore.
 
Which really has nothing to do with anything, other than the fact that I went to a baseball game. Two, actually.
 
************
 
When the kids were little, I had three ready answers for their requests: yes, no, maybe.
 
One day, when she was...five-ish, six-ish...the daughter announced, "You really mean 'no.'"
 
I queried as to her meaning.
 
"When you say 'maybe' you just mean 'no.'"
 
I told her that wasn't true, that they'd posed a request that wasn't an instant yes or no, and I had to think through the pros and cons of what they wanted. That perhaps it was a stalling tactic, that I probably wanted to say 'no,' but there might be a good reason to say 'yes.' So, 'maybe' until I'd made a judgment.
 
Her first video camera was a 'maybe.' And again, she told me I really meant 'no.' But I surprised her by saying 'yes.'
 
Look where we are. The kid made a film this past year that won her Best Director and Best Picture awards.
 
Then, there was the Memphis thing. (After which was the rhinovirus thing. Which really has nothing to do with anything, other than the fact that it kicked my butt for a good two weeks.)
 
And now, I'm writing a short story. A short story that is becoming a script as fast as I can write it. And is slated to become a film.
 
Maybe.
 
Which, in fact, means...maybe.
 
Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. Which I still haven't gotten rid of. Because who has the time? Once I finish the ghost story, I'm supposed to write a horror story.

07 July 2014

Cruising the river


Riverboat
Mississippi River
4 July 2014

When we arrived back at LAX on Saturday night, and were waiting for our luggage, one of the students leaned over to hug me goodbye.

"Good night, Mr. P_____," I told him, calling him by his last name. "It's been an adventure."

And two students and a set of parents who were in earshot burst into laughter.

Tech stuff: Taken with my iPhone4. Neither the D40 nor the D7000 made it on this trip, which was both a good thing and a bad one.